Angst of the White Collar Variety

Work; what is there to say? It's something we have to do if we want to get by and go anywhere. I used to enjoy my job, I thought it was pretty amazing. but the nature of working at a callcenter is starting to become more and more apparent.  I make about 1.05 over minimum wage to hold the position I do and to go handle whatever comes at me every day

Working here is like having an abusive girlfriend or boyfriend. You have to spend the time and convince yourself that they aren't that bad and that you have to stick with the relationship because you will never have anything better again and in my case it's true. Even if I wanted to get a different job I can't. I have to stay "stable" to sponsor the women I love and I need the medical benefits. Yes my job may be an abusive mistress but she gives me what I need financially and in the end we are all sellouts. At least that's what I keep telling myself to make it feel better.

I want to start seriously focusing on writing even though I know it won't lead to salvation I still keep hoping. Right now hope is all I've got, hopes and dreams are what get me through the long hours at this desk getting yelled at by people who have never spoken to me before in their lives. I read blogs written by authors who claim that writing is long, boring, and not very profitable unless you are Stephen King or Sephanie Meyer. but somehow I think it would all be worth it. The time and effort and the struggle all to get published. Then again at this point and time who knows what I want. Right now I just want to go down the street and throw down a few drinks until the world feels fuzzy and sit down at my computer and write something no matter how awful it may be.

Maybe this is a slump, we all have them right? I can just hope this slump is quickly overcome and life can go back to being manageable again. These next two days off will be my recoperation time. Who knows perhaps I'll get something accomplished. That wouldn't be too bad. but for now I'm going to go back to reading instead of writing angsty blog entries like a highschool girl.