Coming down.

I'm sitting here in my living room of my basement apartment watching the sun come up in the city. I am pretty stoned but I'm coming down slowly. Y'know I think that's my favorite part of being intoxicated, it's not so much the being high it's coming down and looking outside at daybreak. Seeing that world. It relaxes me to no end. I just want to go and lay out in the sun, tend to a garden.

I just turned on some nature sounds, I am not usually one for fake nature noises but at this point I'm just keeping sane. I find it kind of funny thougn. If I was told four years ago that I'd be sitting here in my apartment stoned listening to nature noises on my TV and watching the sun from  abasement I'd laugh at you. Okay so maybe that wan't a good example but I think I deserve some slack due to the nature of my writings.

I wish there was some kind of drug that just gave you this peaceful feeling I have now. No high at all just a nice low and relaxing feeling. I bet I'd make a goody hippie. Living by the fly of my skirt (I wish) and just experiencing the world for what it is and enjoying outside.

I look around me and I am depressed, wires and electronics all around. Designed to simulate the life i dream of having...Right now all I want to do is go outside and enjoy the world I was put on but alas it's winter and I right now don't fully appreciate winter due to my inability to deal with the cold.

Anyway I think sleep is needed. I couldn't write due to tiredness but while I was in this mood I wanted to write. I was quoted on facebook saying moments ago.

I want to be a good wife. I want to live in a nice neighborhood with a white fence and wake up at 8 in the morning, put on a sun hat and start gardening and tendig to the yard. Have my loving wife come out ot me in her morning pajamas, me in a pink sundress, I could make her supper and she could make me lunch. We'd teach the cat to mind his manners and get a dog. He'd come outside barking fallowing my wife at her feet step for step... that's the kind of life I want..."

That's an idea of how I feel right now...anyway