Just Like Everybody Else

I've been having a very disturbing day... Noticing my interactions with people at work and in stores. They service us, they fuel our economy, They're fat, they're skinny, they do gross things, they're neat freaks. I don't like them. They don't know me yet I have to interact with them, they're new, constantly new and never familliar. What diseases do they have? What horrible things do they do on their spare time.

Maybe they aren't all like that, what am I saying of course they aren't. But I have to wonder... am I just like them? Am I the same as the 76 year old dieing in his bed urinating on himself? Are we both the same, Am I the same as the fat lady working at Mcdonalds? What about the lunatic on the street with a mental condition? Perhapse it's whatever I have... I could have easily been him... hey I could still.

I cut myself yesterday... I didn't even realize I was doing it but I was I went into the work washroom to listen to a song because the guy in the lunch room was staring at me and freaking me out I was listening to an amazing song... next thing I know my apartment key is in my hand and I'm going to town on my wrist in the familliar "X" shape. I'm not as good at it as I used to be accuracy wise but I really wasn't aware what was happening it's like I was watching through a window that is... until I saw my skin peeling away then I came to and stopped. I thought of all the other people... rotting flesh.. how my body would look when it decays...

Now I think, it's not glamorous, neither is dieing... it's disgusting.... or is it? The Greek's didn't think so.. thing is

I'm INSANE

How am I functioning right now? am I really crazy... what seperates me from all the other crazies...