So I'm crashing, and I'm crashing hard. I feel like absolute shit, in fact if shit could feel I dare say I'd feel worse than it would assuming it felt bad. Let me paint a picture. Mania is flying down the highway on a motorcycle with no helmet at top speed. Crashing from mania (mood swing) is like a transfer truck pulling in front of you and you hitting it head on without any way to stop. I feel like the result of that.
I'm randomly crying for NO real worthwhile reason. Almost argued with my wife over money and my out of control spending (she was in the right) All I want to do is sit on a bench and sleep. Honestly if I could I'd get drunk or high, anything to make this feeling go away. I'm so exausted etc etc etc. Is this going to be the rest of my life? I take my perscribed Valproic-Acid every day to keep my mood in check but it doesn't work. I want to up my dose but I don't want to self medicate... however my psychiatrist isn't in for the whole month... this is going to cause a HUGE problem in my life.
Whatever I'm too tired to blog, screw this.
No wait.... I'm manic again.. FUCK YES!! if I'm rapid cycling I'm going to flip the fuck out but until then FUCK YES I"M NOT MISERABLE ANYMORE!!!
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