So the 28th finally came and my doctor put me on "risperidone" which is an antipsychotic used to treat a great many things, all of which I have. I have high hopes for this drug however so far at this hour I just encountered my most horrifying hallucination ever. It has worked well up until this point though so I'm not going to get too bent out of shape. I am to call my doctor on Friday if the medication has not started working. Her normal starting dose is half a milligram but due to my symptoms and the severity she started me on 2 milligrams which on the first day of taking it: Knocked me on my ass and made me rather stoned. It wast very much fun. I don't want to be high I just want these silly drugs to work and make the voices and monsters go away. The one now occasionally screams and it's fucking horrifying. I'm hoping it will go away with the sun coming up because aside from being horrified I'm pissed as I need to use the bathroom but with that "thing" out there there's no way in hell I can leave this computer chair. This one is coming closer than any other hallucination has in a long time. I'm rather surprised I'm not losing my cool, I almost went to stay at a friends house but since it's dawn I decided not to as I'm usually okay at dawn and dusk. For some reason they calm me and make all horrifying things go away.
Other than that there isn't much to report. I went to a feminist conference recently for young women but I won't rwrite about that right now. Perhapse another blog entry I'll cover that.
Seeya.
Oh bye the way: Everything I'm diagnosed with (Bipolar, BPD, Psychosis) I totally said I had before the doctors diagnosed me. I might as well have been my own doctor. I know self diagnosing is frowned upon but I really did an impeccible job at it and despite how pissed I am at the outcome of the evaluations I'm glad that I succesfully diagnosed myself correctly as it really helped me convey relevant information to doctors and keep logs of what was happening. I even got to tell them my imput and they didn't shoot me down, only one nurse but she turned out wrong and who cares about nurses anyway lol! Just kidding! =^_^=
Bye for real now... really need to pee soon T_T"
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